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You couldn’t love me like you should, couldn’t take the bad with the good. Or was it good with the bad? To hear you tell it, that’s all we had, but I’ll take it. My eyes square on the floor means I don’t love you anymore. But if I stared where I was supposed to, I’d be scared of seeing ghosts who never dreamed we’d never make it. All I wanted was what you wanted was what I wanted. Hold me here in our feedback loop, fingers in our ears, please don’t run screaming out the room.
It’s gonna be all right, I just wish it was better already, then all right could be better too.
Anyone ever hang up on you? Do the same kind of things you say I do? Don’t try and contradict it, this time there is a transcript. At the end, I go, “Hello? Hello? Hello?” You think that I deserved it, serves me right when I deserted, just when it seemed so perfect. I had to try and burn it down, I had to cry, “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.” All I wanted was what you wanted was what I wanted. Were you happier after you decided to call to say the love that you got was worse than nothing at all?
It’s gonna be all right, I just wish it was better already, then all right could be better too.
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Underneath the sky and all the bodies in motion, underneath the deep oceans' floor, earth's core, and its molten explosions—underneath that fire lies my devotion, all my convictions and notions so hopelessly hopeful. And I can see that I deceive no one. Five layers, ten sleeves, and my heart bleeds on every one.
Underneath disguises lying at the surface there's one reliable person, there is the end of our searching. And underneath a moment I see forever, whole books where there's just one letter. I know I just met her. And I can see that I deceive no one. Five layers, ten sleeves, and my heart bleeds on every one.
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She thinks I’m big cigarette, nobody’s proven that I’ve hurt ’em yet. I go down smoother than a honeyslide, and when I’m through she’s gonna let it ride. Rationalizin’ all the shit I spoke, won’t apologize for what I broke. I might be big cigarette, but you just bought yourself another carton, and I love you with my big black heart.
She’s like a record deal. All that I dreamed about was suddenly real. Jet to meetings on the other coast, getting greeted by attractive folks. Went overbudget and the album flopped, she’s got the masters, I’m as good as dropped. She’s like a record deal. I don’t know if I had what it took, but I looked better than I ever looked.
I wish that it would turn out we were victims of some big machine. One person couldn’t possibly deliver pain so efficiently.
I’m big oil to her, I’m the last guy who’d be loyal to her. I wouldn’t sacrifice a thing for her, round the drain a greasy ring for her. Crushin’ everything she cares about, rushing into stuff I didn’t plan out. I’m big oil to her. At night I kept her warm, but in the day I was the gas she used to drive away.
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I am the one with shabby clothes, a scar across my crooked nose, and she is the prettiest girl I know. She looked at me, and me she chose. I'd say I know why, but no, I don't. I'm just a lucky so-and-so.
There was a time when I was sure I'd get all the good things I deserved. I'd stand by the wishing well while some other guy would help himself.
Fuck that jive, I'm much too old. Now I cut the line and roll the bones. I'm just a lucky so-and-so.
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I still find no way around
those diplomatic sounds
converting what i feel or do
into something less true
just a funny kind of glue
i see a river up in flames
not for me to tame
apologies so lame
nothing else that i could name
selling your beliefs is so inane
when in comes to "never end"
i see a river up in flames
not for me to tame
poetry just doesnt come around
when maudlin words are bound
by fear of mishaps
chandeliers
wont make a dusky spirit clear
i see a river up in flames
not for me to tame
i see colours on my face
that cannot be quite sane
the corduroy on my last pants
finally found a cheerles end
a faded pattern made by hands
that never knew me well
sputtering out sometimes would be more sound
when once again we choose to show
precisely who we are
i thought we could go far
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Some free odds and bobs, most of it from 2013 and all of it recorded to four-track cassette apart from "Big Cigarette," which was recorded to a phone. This EP was released with absolutely zero promotion. We told nobody. How you found it, we'll never know.
released November 18, 2014
All songs by Will Georgantas, Zivlizdin Songs (BMI), except "Sad Corduroy," by Hauke Schmidt, aka Great Dynamo, of Düsseldorf. Ken Matsuda: violin on "Ten Sleeves" and "Sad Corduroy."
